Monday, April 7, 2008

Painting the Locker Red

this blogging thing has caught my interest... we'll see how it goes.

a brief history before i begin: i recently moved back to, well, what most people by definition, would call, my 'hometown'. i, on the other hand, do not claim it to be so. i protest that notion completely! it's a small town, that has it's very own wonderfully harsh society. being a adolescent there was brutal most days. the whole town is, essentially, a popularity contest. i choose to keep to myself, thanks anyway. i had hoped no one would know i was there... afterall, i had been gone for nearly 10 years! but Noooo! they all knew right away that i had moved back... because my silly pants moved to main street. real smart.


i've recently taken to finding treasures in people's basements. on one dig i uncovered a metal locker cabinet. perfect. well, almost perfect. spray painting it apple red would make it perfect!

i started the project yesterday morning under my carport (it's the best place, i've got). did i mention i also live off 10th street? another busy busy street. i laid newspapers out, and put small cans on the paper to keep it from blowing it away. (yes, i decided to spray paint on a somewhat windy day).
i even backed my car up some.

i backed my car up for two reasons.
first, yes, to avoid any overspray on my silver car. not that it would matter any. my second reason had more to do with my Taurean ways. my neighbor, 2 doors down, was driving on the sidewalk in front of my apartment at mach 4! aside from safety concerns, she was intruding on my space, and doing so very abruptly. the first time i saw her do it, while arranging my newspaper, i thought, "wTf?" about 20 minutes later, she did it again! so i backed my *^*'ing car up!


back to the locker.

then, i muscle out the locker. all the while, every passerby made note of my rustlings. i've got everything ready. i'm ready to paint! i start the can shake-up process and recheck my preparations... then i realize, some broad had parked her car on the grass on the other side of my apartment. in a later blog, i will tell of my beloved neighbors. anyway, there's a small patch of grass in between my apartment and 10th street. visitors park there, no big deal.
unless i'm about to spray paint.

i drudgingly walk next door. shaking my apple red-topped can. i knock. i see a face peek through the etched window... she thinks i don't see her cause she's bent down some. sheesh. i knock again a few minutes later. finally, the dude opens the door. i say, "hi, i was wondering if the lady who owns the burgundy car in front of the dumpster is here?" he says, "i don't know the lady next door." really? cause i'm the lady next door, buddy. i say, "i live next door, and i'm about to spray paint. the overspray will get on her car. i just wanted to let her know." he says, "oh." then i hear her say, "oh, it won't hurt it none."
okay sister.

i happily begin spray painting. it's the perfect color!
i'm in the zone, listening to my tunes painting the locker red. yes!

then i hear a whistle. my 'across the street, off to the side' neighbor has something to say... i've known him since i was 14. he hollars, "you'd better move your car, girl. you're gonna get overspray all over it!" i say, "the wind's going that way (pointing the opposite direction of my car)." he says, "Oh. what about that car?" i told him she said, "it wouldn't hurt it none. so that's not my problem."

bits and pieces of hometown life like this happened to me all day.
today at work, one of my coworkers approached me, "what were you painting red yesterday?"

everyone in the hometown knows that i have painted the locker red.
and they'll probably talk about it at the infamous numnut - a local watering hole.



1 comment:

She Who said...

Local Numnut. Girl, you crack me up. It should be numbnuts. Spell it right.